As I'm in the thick of what promises to be an awesome Melbourne International Comedy Festival, (and this is a comedy blog!), I'm posting bits and pieces from comics I know, and love, so that those of you who live in the Wide,Wide, World of Web, can share some of the joy that is that is the comedy festival. Rumour has it that not everyone in the whole wide world has seen the Melbourne International Comedy Festival's annual 'Gala' show, and if that's the case - shame on you! What, you're getting so many laughs at home and in your job that you can't use a few more? For free, even?
Sammy J is not only one of the most talented comics on the Australian comedy scene, he is also one of the nicest guys you will meet. I love 'The Backwards Song', and was thrilled to see Sammy totally wow the crowd at 'The Gala'. Kudos to you, Sammy! Maybe you should go and see him at the Melbourne Town Hall in his MICF show 'Sammy J - 1999'- it's on every day except Mondays for the duration of the festival. Enjoy. And go and see some comedy!
From Elmo to emos... Actually, when I got up this morning, I found an emo in my bathroom - just staring at me! But it was just me - I forgot to take my mascara off again last night. Scary! This is my 'Tim Minchin' look - a cool look for a guy. Not so much for a lady girl like myself.
Anyhow, check out my mate Fox Klein's hilarious emo video, also featuring the lovely Nicky Talacko as the quack who's supposed to be coming to his Emo-tional rescue. You can check out both their shows at the Melbourne international Comedy Festival throughout April. After you've seen mine!
It seems she will stop at nothing to avoid working on her upcoming Melbourne International comedy Festival Show - not even speaking of herself in the third person! And watching You Tubes, and checking out her My Space, and Facebook, etc, etc...
So anyway, here's one of my favourite characters of all time, Elmo, trying to interview Ricky Gervais - who's being a very naughty boy. I love it when Elmo totally loses his shit in an interview! This is how I know he's a real person, (who just need some serious waxing) - not just some 'Hollywood puppet'. Like Zac Efron. Love it.
This is an oldie, but it's one of my absolute favourites. It's actually an ad for a New Zealand Bakery. I don't know why, but there's just something about watching baked goods do a primal, tribal dance that really cheers me up. And today, lets just say I need a little ginger lovin'! So here's the cookie version of 'So You Think You Can Haka'. Enjoy!
Oh yeah, who hasn't been there guys? Because I featured chicks on the dance floor last post, I couldn't resist featuring dicks in this one - just for gender balance. I guess the female quivalent might be 'Too Many Camel Toes On The Dance Floor', at least there were last time I went out.
If you're not into The Flight Of The Conchords like I am - WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?? Not only is the show hilarious, the cast is made up of comedians who are each at the top of their game. I'd love to check out FOTC live, but they're not coming to Melbourne this festival, nor is Rhys Darby (also hilarious in his own right), or Kristin Schaal, who was In Melbourne last year for the comedy festival with her partner in comedy, Kurt Braunholer. I caught them a couple of times, and they were extremely funny in the weirdest possible way, so much so that they won a Barry Award. That's good, by the way.
But wait! You CAN check out the magnificent Arj Barker at the Melbourne Comedy Festival, and if you've never seen him live, then you bloody well should. Arj Barker's like Star Wars - you have to see him lots of times, and he's always just as good. You will never be disappointed, unless you were hoping for a snooze and he keeps you awake because you're laughing your guts out.
But back to 'Too Many Dicks'. I've included the lyrics, so you can appreciate the true genius of the song. Is it just me, or is Andy Sipowicz in this clip?
Too many dicks on the dance floor Too many dicks on the dance floor Too many dicks Too many dicks on the dance floor Too many dicks Too many dicks on the dance floor Too many dicks
[Jemaine] Going to the party Sippin' on Bacardi Wanna meet a hottie But there's Adam, Steve and Marty There's Billy, Todd and Tommy They're on leave from the army The only boobs I'll see tonight will be made of origami
[Bret] Tell the players, make it understood It ain't no good if there's too much wood Make sure you know before you go The dance floor bro-hoe ratio Five to one is a brodeo Tell Steve and Mike it's time to go Wait outside all night to find Twenty dudes in a conga line
Too many dicks on the dance floor Easy to fix Too many dicks on the dance floor Spread out the dicks
[Dave] Too many dudes With too many dicks Too close to my shit Too hard to meet chicks I need better odds More broads, less rods I came to do battle Scadaddle with the cattle prods
[Jemaine] Too many men Too many boys Too many misters Not enough sisters Too much time on, too many hands Not enough ladies, too many mans
[Jemaine] Too many dicks Too many dongs Too many schlongs Now sing this song
Okay, I would like to stress that usually, my blog is a 'Lolcat' free zone. Now I love watching a you tube of a cat on a treadmill as much as the next person, but I am allergic to cats, and therefore also potentially Lolcats (that's 'laugh out loud' cat for those of you who have an actual life, not a virtual one that involves texts and social networking media). Incidentally, I'm also allergic to artificial flowers, avocadoes, mangos (the fruit - not John Mangos), and crap perfume. So if you were thinking of giving me some fake carnies and Brittany Spears' latest perfume 'Smashed and Knickerless at Midnight', before whisking me off for a feast of tropical fruits and guacamole with you and your cat, I'm sorry - it's just not gonna happen. For medical reasons.
So anyhow, as a lady comic, I really can't afford to have my sense of humour inflamed or irritated in any way by a Lolcat purely for your amusement - sorry. I realise there are some kittens (baby lolcats) on this clip, but baby lolcats only cause slight teariness, which I am prepared to wear, because my kids will love it and I'm showing it to them after school (don't worry, I will distract them with a chocolate chip cookie through the slightly adult part where the baby kittens get some action. Or at least some 'furplay').
This is actually a Japanese ad for a Samsung mobile phone with a 'really cool screen'. Check out the 'bunny desk computer' scene - I used to work in that office! It was small and smelt of rabbit shit, but it was intimate. I left, because it was a bit too intimate - all the staff were on with each other, and they were at it all the time. There was this one black rabbit I was pretty close with, but we both wanted different things... I wanted a career, he wanted to have sex 75 times a day and get high on carrots, so we weren't really that compatible. Also, he was a rabbit. And that thing they say about guys with big ears? Not always true.
Well you will in a minute. When I first saw this, I thought I might need to back off on the expressos a little bit, because this is so cool that I naturally assumed it was a caffeine induced hallucination. Do you ever get them? Well, neither do I then. Shut up. I just don't understand how this works - how is it possible? But I guess if you can stuff a mother of six with 8 more babies like you were putting pickles in a jar, and if you can get a gun totin', hockey coachin' Alaskan 'mom' to run for the vice presidency, ("Why don't you pop over after your PTA meetin' and we'll just see if we can't get you into the White House, missy?"), I guess there's no reason you can't get a fountain to make like some dolphins and dance around a little. This fountain's in Canal City, which I think is a mall in Japan. After a bit, it makes you feel like you need to pee. But in short bursts, like you're an old guy with prostate problems. Or maybe it's all the coffee I've been drinking...
Although this has been around for a while, it's recently come to my attention that many people still haven't experienced the hilariousness that is the 2008 You Tube smash 'Beached Whale', by The Bean Pictures. I don't know what it is - the crude animation, the ridiculousness of being offered a 'chup' when you're clearly up shit creek, or the kiwi accents, (which come on, are just funny!)... But 'beached whale' talk is very 'bug' in our house. Someone wants a drink? They're 'parched as'. Someone wants a shower? They need to get wet - eee-sep!' I can just imagine myself as an old chook in the nursing home, being visited by one of my grandchildren: "You want a chip, Nanna?" "As in a chup? A potatoe chup?" "Yeah, this one - a chup!" "I would do, broo, but I can't eat chups. I can't chew, broo." "Well that's shut." "Yeah it is. Now off you goo, broo. Nanna wants to watch 'Lost' - I'm pretty sure they'll get off the island this week."
So anyway, if you were living under a rock last year, here's 'Beached Whale'. Enjoy.
Posting this comes under the category of 'making it easy for people I know - who wouldn't otherwise be bothered - to see funny You Tubes'. It's an awesome lego animation of the comic genius, Eddie Izzard's 'Death Star Canteen'. It's funny on it's own, but for some reason Eddie Izzard and Lego are a marriage made in comedy heaven. Check it out.
As some of you may know, I have a house full of boys, so meal times are usually pretty full-on. I wasn't sure if I was going to post pics and videos of my family, but I think you're ready for it. So here is a home video of me with my lovely family, enjoying a nutritious meal together and giving thanks, (we're deeply religious).
Okay, this is not my family, this is Ricky Bobby's family in Will Ferrell's 'Talladega Nights'. We're not really that religious, but if we did say grace, it would definately be to the newborn, 8 pound six ounce, Christmas Baby Jesus, with his tiny golden fleece diapers. In all honesty, though, my family truly would remember the baby jesus grace better than the original. I'm not saying that's a good thing. I'm just saying.
