Thousands flocked to the Roman Catholic Church on the Island of Reunion after believers claimed to have seen the 'face of christ' in the pleats of a cushion which was attached to a priest's chair. Now I'm not one to rain on anyone's money spinning parade. Far from it. In fact, the other night, I myself saw Joaquim Phoenix's face in a slice of pizza, (not 'Walk The Line' actor, Joaquim Phoenix. I mean the 'homeless person chic', 'serious musician', barmy as batshit artist formely known as Joaquim Phoenix). I seriously considered putting it on EBay, but I was starving, and scruffy Joaquim pizza is actually pretty tasty.
No disrespect to the 'believers', but if the imprint in the cushion looks like the face of Christ, and a priest has been sitting on said cushion, doesn't it stand to reason that it might, in fact, be the priest's ass that looks like the face of Christ, rather than the cushion? I'm not suggesting that the priest's ass be put on display for people to worship, 24 hours a day. And obviously, a priest's backside would be a lot more difficult to sell on EBay than a cushion. I'm just saying... will the real vision of the face of Christ please stand up? I think it's on the priest's bum, and there's possibly a 'Da Vinci Code' style movie in it. Phillip Seymour Hoffman would be an excellent choice as the priest. But for the all important role of his bum, I can think of no better choice than Tilda Swinton, who would require very little in the way of make-up to play this convincingly.
Unfortunately, I couldn't find a photo of the holy cushion in question, but I did find one of 'Grilled Cheese Mary' - the half eaten slice of cheesy toast that CLEARLY LOOKS LIKE THE MADONNA that sold for $28,000 in 2004. I personally think that Grilled Cheese Mary looks more like a kewpie doll, but because there is at least a picture of her, in all her toastiness, I think Grilled Cheese Mary trumps Jesus face cushion at this stage.
A bit off topic, but my face looks like the pleats in a cushion after a big night. And I don't see anyone whacking a picture of that on EBay and declaring it a miracle!
In other news today, Pauline Hanson's head mysteriously appeared in photos of someone else's body, and some misguided editor thought it was newsworthy enough to put on the front page of The Sunday Herald Sun. Explain THAT!
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