
My husband: "It must have been hard for Matthew Newton and Kate Ritchie to work together on this episode..."
Me: "Why is that?"
My husband: "You know, with them breaking up, and all the charges and everything..."
Me: " Well I don't think it would have been that hard. Because that was Brooke Satchwell, who used to on Neighbours. As opposed to Kate Ritchie, who used to be on Home and Away."
My husband: "Same thing."
Me: "Yep."
Kate Ritchie and Matthew Newton didn't have any scenes together anyway, but if he had been working directly opposite his ex, he wouldn't have been able to see her anyhow. On account of his vision being obscured by tits all the time. I was doing a tit count for a bit this episode, but I got distracted by the storyline. I guess that's why they don't have much of a storyline in pornos - so they don't distract from the boobs and everything.
So to briefly recap on what I remember about episodes 1 and 2. Episode 1 - oranges. Episode 2 - tits. Episode 3 - Mess! (And tits). What's really stayed with me is the image of Sally, I mean Kate Ritchie, as Les Kane's wife, having to clean up all that blood and guts from the bathroom after Les was brutally mowed down by Ray Chuck and two of his henchmen.
I know it's probably just me, but I can't watch a scene like that, (or even a cheesy Disney dog running through the neighbourhood wrecking everything in sight scene), without thinking the whole time; "Who's going to clean that up?" Believe me, I'm not that tidy myself. I used to be, BC, (before children), but now I'm quite happy if there's a clear path from the door to the coffee when I get home. But for some reason, I just can't enjoy a place getting smashed up, or a face getting smashed in, without thinking "How bloody rude. Why can't people find a tidy way of being mindlessly violent?". So I was too preopccupied by worrying about what cleaning products might be best in that type of situation to really get into the scene.
But there were messy bar fights, (Oh, now I suppose some poor barmaid's going to have to clean that up!), ears being bitten off, (Oh shit - that'll make a mess. And some poor intern's probably going to have to stitch that up), and one hell of a mess in the bathroom. How bloody thoughtless of those crims to leave such a mess for the dead dude's wife? Mobsters now are so much more considerate, often bringing in guys called 'The Cleaner' to leave crime scenes sparkling clean by using wonder products, such as hydrochloric acid, to remove all traces of mess. Thoughtful. And by the way, crims in those days were dumb asses, weren't they? Imagine agreeing to a little getaway with your mobster boss on his boat? These days, henchmen know that a day with their boss 'swimming with the fishes' does not mean they're going snorkelling at The Great Barrier Reef.
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