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Oh yeah, who hasn't been there guys? Because I featured chicks on the dance floor last post, I couldn't resist featuring dicks in this one - just for gender balance. I guess the female quivalent might be 'Too Many Camel Toes On The Dance Floor', at least there were last time I went out.
If you're not into The Flight Of The Conchords like I am - WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?? Not only is the show hilarious, the cast is made up of comedians who are each at the top of their game. I'd love to check out FOTC live, but they're not coming to Melbourne this festival, nor is Rhys Darby (also hilarious in his own right), or Kristin Schaal, who was In Melbourne last year for the comedy festival with her partner in comedy, Kurt Braunholer. I caught them a couple of times, and they were extremely funny in the weirdest possible way, so much so that they won a Barry Award. That's good, by the way.
But wait! You CAN check out the magnificent Arj Barker at the Melbourne Comedy Festival, and if you've never seen him live, then you bloody well should. Arj Barker's like Star Wars - you have to see him lots of times, and he's always just as good. You will never be disappointed, unless you were hoping for a snooze and he keeps you awake because you're laughing your guts out.
But back to 'Too Many Dicks'. I've included the lyrics, so you can appreciate the true genius of the song. Is it just me, or is Andy Sipowicz in this clip?
Too many dicks on the dance floor
Too many dicks
Too many dicks on the dance floor
Too many dicks
Too many dicks on the dance floor
Too many dicks
[Jemaine]
Going to the party
Sippin' on Bacardi
Wanna meet a hottie
But there's Adam, Steve and Marty
There's Billy, Todd and Tommy
They're on leave from the army
The only boobs I'll see tonight will be made of origami
[Bret]
Tell the players, make it understood
It ain't no good if there's too much wood
Make sure you know before you go
The dance floor bro-hoe ratio
Five to one is a brodeo
Tell Steve and Mike it's time to go
Wait outside all night to find
Twenty dudes in a conga line
Too many dicks on the dance floor
Easy to fix
Too many dicks on the dance floor
Spread out the dicks
[Dave]
Too many dudes
With too many dicks
Too close to my shit
Too hard to meet chicks
I need better odds
More broads, less rods
I came to do battle
Scadaddle with the cattle prods
[Jemaine]
Too many men
Too many boys
Too many misters
Not enough sisters
Too much time on, too many hands
Not enough ladies, too many mans
[Jemaine]
Too many dicks
Too many dongs
Too many schlongs
Now sing this song
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