comedychick

Damn you, Sam Kekovich! / Happy Australia Day...

        

       

So I'm at the supermarket, looking for lamb. Why? Because it's Australia Day, and that damn Sam Kekovich ad about doing you patriotic duty and eating lamb on Australia Day is stuck in my brain. I don't want lamb. Half my kids won't eat it. And goddamn, it's bloody expensive! Does it  have to be actual lamb? I ask myself. Could I fashion some sort of 'mock lamb' out of a lesser priced meat? Could I get some mutton, and dress it up as lamb? But no. Here I am, picking over the lamb, because some advertising whiz kid thought it would be a fantastic idea for Sam Kekovich to make the average Australian feel guilty about not buying enough lamb. GODDAMN YOU TO HELL, SAM KEKOVICH! I eat Vegemite,you know... lots of it. On toast, especially when I'm hungover. I've been known to eat the odd lamington, as well. I've watched 'The Castle' billions of times. I'm VERY patriotic. So I don't think I need some retired football legend, or whatever, telling me what I should feed my family on Australia day. Are we clear? ARE WE?

So anyway, I bought the lamb. Little frenched cutlets, and some loin chops - barbecued, of course.There must have been about one cubic centimetre of meat on each one, and it cost a fortune. And they were beautiful. I hope you had a great Australia Day, and that you really understand what the day is all about. It's about lamb!

Death Star Canteen...

Posting this comes under the category of 'making it easy for people I know - who wouldn't otherwise be bothered - to see funny You Tubes'. It's an awesome lego animation of the comic genius, Eddie Izzard's 'Death Star Canteen'. It's funny on it's own, but for some reason Eddie Izzard and Lego are a marriage made in comedy heaven. Check it out.

Obamas In Pyjamas...

Could I get up in the middle of the night to watch Barack Obama's inauguration speech? I'd like to say "Yes I can", but no, I couldn't - I was too shagged. I have been trawling the net for something funny to post about Obama in honour of the occasion of his inauguration, but couldn't find anything I thought was funny enough. So far, from a comedian's perspective, Obama is sadly wanting! The only thing he's given us so far is a momentary stuff up taking the oath, and really, who wouldn't? So many big words! I hope he knows we expect more from our American presidents! I think we'll be going from feast to famine, comedy wise. Maybe they'll go from actual famine to having something to eat in the third world, however - we can only hope. So I'm posting some Will.I.Am, because the occasion deserves a post, and because I really love Will.I.Am. Can we really watch this one more time? Yes we can.

Top 10 Bushisms...

Q. When is a comedian not a comedian?  A. When he doesn't know he's a comedian! I know it's all over, but lets recap some of the magical moments of the Bush presidency. These 'Bushisms' were compiled by Daniel Kurzman, from About.com - the best and most hilarious political blog ever.

10) "Families is where our nation finds hope, where wings take dream." —LaCrosse, Wis., Oct. 18, 2000

9) "I know how hard it is for you to put food on your family." —Greater Nashua, N.H., Jan. 27, 2000

8) "I hear there's rumors on the Internets that we're going to have a draft." —second presidential debate, St. Louis, Mo., Oct. 8, 2004

7) "I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully." —Saginaw, Mich., Sept.

6) "You work three jobs? … Uniquely American, isn't it? I mean, that is fantastic that you're doing that." —to a divorced mother of three, Omaha, Nebraska, Feb. 4, 2005

5) "Too many good docs are getting out of the business. Too many OB-GYNs aren't able to practice their love with women all across this country." —Poplar Bluff, Mo., Sept. 6, 2004

4) "They misunderestimated me." —Bentonville, Ark., Nov. 6, 2000

3) "Rarely is the questioned asked: Is our children learning?" —Florence, S.C., Jan. 11, 2000

2) "Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we." —Washington, D.C., Aug. 5, 2004

1) "There's an old saying in Tennessee — I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can't get fooled again." —Nashville, Tenn., Sept. 17, 2002

Giving Thanks...

As some of you may know, I have a house full of boys, so meal times are usually pretty full-on. I wasn't sure if I was going to post pics and videos of my family, but I think you're ready for it. So here is a home video of me with my lovely family, enjoying a nutritious meal together and giving thanks, (we're deeply religious).

Okay, this is not my family, this is Ricky Bobby's family in Will Ferrell's 'Talladega Nights'. We're not really that religious, but if we did say grace, it would definately be to the newborn, 8 pound six ounce, Christmas Baby Jesus, with his tiny golden fleece diapers. In all honesty, though, my family truly would remember the baby jesus grace better than the original. I'm not saying that's a good thing. I'm just saying.

Get ya Bush here!

Too much Bush is never enough. Except politically, of course! This one had me in stitches...

So long, Dubya... and thanks for all the laughs!

I had hoped to have my blog up and going months before now, so I could have indulged in a little Bush bashing of my own, and soaked up the excitement and media frenzy that was the US election. I'll admit, I was a little hooked on the whole thing - including the big names coming out to tell America to 'GET OFF YOUR ASSES AND VOTE, Y'ALL!'.  After it was all over, I was at a bit of a  loose end!

I was elated with the result, of course, but I'm missing the media coverage - especially Tina Fey's Sarah Palin impersonations. You would think that Sarah, like Dubya, could not possibly be made any funnier than she already is. But you would be wrong! And although most people would have seen most of the funny You Tubes from that time, I think there are a few that deserve another go around. So I'm going to be 'fashionably late' and post them anyway, because at the end of the day, what did George Bush really do wrong? Apart from Iraq. And screwing up the global economy. And playing golf while New Orleans drowned. And... well, ok - pretty much everything else! But he was god's gift to comedians everywhere, and for that, I'm going to pay tribute from now until inauguration day. And possibly then some. Until I have closure.

Let's start with one of my absolute favourites, which I think is based on a spoof by that other great Dubya, Will Ferrell. It's made by a funny kid who goes by the name of, that's right - 'Funny Kid'! Ain't that the truth, though!

The Night Was...

Hey. Welcome to my first ever comedy chick post. I'm really aware that one's first ever post should make some sort of statement. And don't get me wrong - I'm really excited to have finally started it. At last I have a valid reason to spend so many hours trawling the wide, wide world of web... research! So, to quote the sage prophet, Yoda, 'excited I am!'

SO WHY THE HELL CAN'T I THINK OF ANYTHING TO WRITE?? Usually, I'm not exactly stuck for words. Hell - I can't even comment someone else's blog without writing a short story! So what's with this sudden poverty of ideas? I've picked the theme, and the color. I've paced. I've pumped myself with coffees. I've even distracted myself by spending 'quality time with the kids'. But nothing.

Oh shit. I get it. I've got 'blogger's block'! Which reminds me of one of my favourite scenes in that comedy classic 'Throw Momma From The Train'...Yep, that's right - to illustrate the frustration that only writers, and people pretending to be writer, and now bloggers everywhere, can truly know, I'M GOING TO HAVE TO GET OUT THE GOOD CRYSTAL. Billy Crystal, that is. Enjoy.

First post done. That's it and that's all.